Oh Mama

Yesterday, when Harm wrote about her “girl’s day” with our dear friend Miss Tish, she mentioned that it was her first day ever to be away from her children…and she did mean that literally. Since Oksana was born almost 5 years ago, Harm, Oksana, and Julian have been inseparable. Not one time in their lives have they been baby-sat by even a family member or friend–not even me. Harm’s girl day was a pretty big first, and it makes me  happy to know that it brought her so much pleasure to take some time for herself.

And it really underscores a serious blind spot of mine–my inability in the first place to see that my wife needed the time to just get away and have a day for herself, away from the work, stress, and constant demands that small children place on a parent. Harm has given so much of herself to this family that it has become hard to picture her as a separate being with wants, needs and desires outside of the family structure.

I get so you used to her being a pillar of strength that the whole family (and in this regard I may as well be a kid myself) relies on that I totally lose site of the fact that she is also an individual that needs her own space–and almost never gets any.

I promise to start paying more attention to that aspect of our family dynamic 🙂

Thanks for being such a fantastic wife & mother, Harm–you constantly amaze me, and I love you a little more every day.


5 Responses to “Oh Mama”

  1. Harmony Barron Reply May 27, 2011 at 09:45

    Thank you for all the sweetness, Babe. You’re an absolutely wonderful father and husband, and I am exactly where I want to be… without you and the kiddies, I would be lost in this world.

  2. Marlene Phillips-Daniels Reply May 27, 2011 at 13:13

    Jason, how great that you can see that need, whether Harm really recognizes it herself. An occasional time away on the outside can certainly be a positive to the whole. A once in awhile outside looking in can really magnify all of your ties to each other. I know how excited Harm was to get home and how excited everyone was to see her there—a real positive shot of we see each other and know how much we love each other. It’s a good thing.

    • As I told Tish, the tough, and kind of scary, part is that such blocks of our life go by without really seeing or recognizing that need…I do plan to be more observant in the future!

  3. Tish Cockerham Reply May 27, 2011 at 14:54

    Jason, How wonderful you are to be so insightful. I guess you can see from the little gifts Harmony brought home for you, Oksana and Jules that you all were in her thoughts all day. It was a lot of fun for us both. It really has been a long time. Thanks Jason, we both had a great day. I hope we can have one more girls day before the new baby arrives. Love you lots my friend

    • I’m not sure how insightful I really am, Tish–sometimes I need to be whacked upside the noggin to get this kind of thing! I am really glad the two of you lovely ladies got the chance to spend some quality time together, and I promise in the future to be a better husband by enabling these kinds of “get aways”!!! Love you too 🙂

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